Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Old Food

Part One: Fake Cake

Soon after our marriage Leslie took up cake decorating as a hobby. She was passionate about it and became quite good. She developed quite a reputation among friends and colleagues.

Two practice cakes - she put regular sugar & butter icing over a styrofoam core - sat on our sideboard for many years. The sugar hardened. Petrified cake, if you will.

We enjoyed people's reaction to them. "Are they real?" "Well, yes. They're just not edible." After a few years I hinted, gently, that it might be time to toss them. They gave off a kind of "window-of-unsuccessful-bakery" vibe.

To my surprise I found them in the trash tonight. I rescued one to take a picture of it, just for the memories, you know. Then I tossed it again. The other was chocolate color and wouldn't photograph so well. Approximate age: 10 years. This one started out white but had faded to yellow. I hope Leslie's grieving period for them is short. (Click for enlargement.)

Leslie's phony cake goes to heaven

Part Two: Cookie Hall of Fame.

At various times through the years Leslie held Cookie Decorating Parties. She'd bake bunches of sugar cookies in familiar shapes and set out edible coloring and brushes and decorative materials, invite lots of people and tell them "Decorate!".

For each event a winner cookie was chosen. The laureate cookie was not consumed (or disposed of). Instead it was to spend eternity on the sideboard shelf above the fake cakes.

So here are six prize-winning cookies, showing some wear. Approximate ages 5 to 15 years. The creators of these are lost to time - although our friend Albert Marsh is probably responsible for the homoerotic ones and another friend Bill Howard for others. My apologies to any unknown cookie decorators I've forgotten, whoever you are. Your cookies remain safe on the sideboard ledge.

Cookie Dino
bright yellow cookie fish
Cookie Cat
Teddy Bear cookie wearing leather
Goth teddy bear cookie with skull
Cookie in Drag

Part Three: The Lemon Half

This lemon is approximately 40 years old. I remember it as being old and dried up when I was in high school (I was class of 1969). I've kept it safe ever since in a box with various other curiously strange objects of little meaning. Now, with this blog, I can share these little treasures with my (three) readers.

40 year old lemon half
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A picture of a fine wedding cake created by Leslie is here. (Scroll down a bit.)

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