Mixed Meters Predicts The 2016 Election

Warning - if you don't like the F-word permanently incorporated into the presumed Republican candidate's name you might want to start your own blog.

Mixed Meters has a short history of predicting the political silly season.  I'm always wrong.  That won't stop me from trying again.

With their combined negative polling near 100%, the general election between Hillary and Donald Fucking Trump will be the most negative ever.   As Election Day approaches all advertising will be negative and none of it will be accurate.  On CNN Reince Preibus will claim that lying is perfectly acceptable in Presidential elections.  No one will contradict him.

Both vice-president candidates will be white, male, Protestant politicians almost unknown outside their home state.  In fact both will be from the same state or maybe adjacent states.  Both will make  Dan Quayle look over-qualified.

There will be campaign violence - lots of it - much more than 1968.  Baton-wielding cops will fire tear gas at Occupy Wall Street and at Black Lives Matter.  Someone who appears to be transgender (but isn't) will be beaten up while trying to take a shit.  

Expect at least one fatality during this election cycle - some innocent person will die during a protest. 

At the conventions both parties will have ugly platform fights: Republicans will obsess over gay wedding cakes and Democrats will argue about Israeli fascists.

At one point, everyone in the media - nutcases and reasonable pundits alike (although I admit it's sometimes hard to tell them apart) - will start to agree on some one thing.  No, I don't know what it will be.  This common wisdom will emerge the same way everyone said that Donald Fucking Trump would never get nominated.  Once again everyone will be proven wrong.

Something Ted Nugent says will lead the news cycle for several days. Also Jorge Ramos.

Donald Fucking Trump will turn his campaign into a reality television show with behind the scenes cameras following his every move and showing off-the-cuff exchanges with his supporters.  A nightly broadcast hosted by Sarah Palin and Ben Carson.  Donald Fucking Trump will claim he is winning because the show gets high ratings.

Donald Fucking Trump, trying not to sound like a bigot, will simply allow the Democratic campaign advertising to remind his vile racist followers that he too is a vile racist.  In spite of this he will accidentally keep insulting women and minorities almost every time he speaks.  His supporters will love him all the more for it.

Hillary will deny ever changing her political positions but then abandon her recent pivot to the political right when she eventually realizes that she needs Bernie Sanders' help.  Therefore, late in the campaign, she will desperately re-pivot to the left, talking incessantly about free college tuition.  (It is too much to hope that "re-pivot" will become a generally known term.)

Conflicts in Syria, Libya and Iraq will drop out of the news because ISIS leaders will be afraid of affecting the U.S. elections.  Kim Jong-un, however, will keep launching satellites and missiles and saying provocative things leading Donald Fucking Trump to display a large prop red button which he will symbolically press to show his willingness to launch missiles at North Korea.   He will offer to travel to Russia during the campaign.  When Putin politely declines, he will offer to travel to Israel.  Sheldon Adelson will politely decline.

The October Surprise: Someone will discover sex tapes for both Donald Fucking Trump and Hillary Clinton.  Except Hillary's will be a fake edited by James O'Keefe.  The size of Donald Fucking Trump's penis will not be revealed in the video.  Donald Fucking Trump's hairdresser, however, will tell all in a TMZ interview.

Donald Fucking Trump will talk incessantly about Bill Clinton's sex life, comparing him repeatedly to Anthony Weiner.  In the final Presidential debate Donald Fucking Trump will tell Hillary that no woman could ever be qualified to be President and her too-polite response will cause a drop in her poll numbers.

Donald Fucking Trump will finally release one year of tax returns less than a week before election day.  His true net worth will be pegged at two billion, his income about $100 million, his tax rate at less that 5% and he gives virtually nothing to any charity except Planned Parenthood.

So, who will win . . .

The final result will be very close - there will be no big sweeps or political mandates in 2016.  It's going to be a nail-biter.

If Donald Fucking Trump finds his A game by:

• figuring out how to act Presidential while constantly demeaning the Clintons, 
• using social media creatively and 
• managing to not say anything really really stupid 

and Hillary turns in a lackluster performance by:

• not getting her supporters excited, 
• getting indicted for email, 
• raising obscene amounts of money from big banks and criminal felons and 
• acting like a restrained, thoughtful, conventional boring politician  

then Donald Fucking Trump will be our next president.  

Electing Donald Fucking Trump as president would be very bad.  He is a spoiled rich kid for whom the word affluenza fits perfectly.  I passionately want Donald Fucking Trump to lose.  He is the most worst candidate, so bad that even Hillary is a far better choice.

You can take very little solace in the fact that I'm always wrong about these things.  Maybe the fear that he actually can win will motivate all of us to go out there and make sure he loses.  

Mixed Meters Endorses Bernie

Mixed Meters (i.e. me, David Ocker) commends you to vote for Bernie Sanders in the California Democratic Party Primary next month.

I am assuming, of course, that you live in this state and are registered as a Democrat or as NPP ("No Party Preference").  (There are a bunch of other states who have yet to vote.  If you live in one of those, I commend you to vote for him there as well.)

There are two reasons I make this recommendation.  Both of them have really pissed me off.

First, Bernie has repeatedly demonstrated that he actually believes things which I also believe; things about economic equality, ending the endless war, reforming politics and investing in people's futures.

Second, he has brought millions of voters - many of them young - into the electoral process and gotten them excited about those ideas.  Their numbers and excitement demonstrate that his ideas might well be viable public policy someday.

Before Bernie I had naturally assumed that in this election, like in almost every previous one, there would be no candidate who actually reflected my political beliefs.  And even if there were, that candidate would have no chance.

Bernie came along and proved me wrong - forcing me to support him in spite of my utter distaste of politics as usual.  How annoying is that?  My fleeting moment of hope - now dashed by Bernie's likely loss of the Democratic nomination - gives me the right to be pissed.

Yeah, it's true, Bernie has no chance of winning the Democratic nomination, although at the moment polls are all over the map.   I suppose he still has a chance of winning in California just like I have a chance of winning the lottery.  Winning anything, even this one large battle in the nearly completed nomination war, would be a huge accomplishment for his supporters to celebrate.

So, on June 7, I'm going to have a rare opportunity in American politics.  I'm actually going to get to vote FOR someone who, if he  became President, would promote ideas I believe in.  In this one election I'm not going to be voting against someone.  First  time since 1972.

Eventually, I can only hope that some real social liberal candidate wins office someday and she can begin the even-harder-than-getting-elected job of changing the laws, the society and the hearts and minds of the people.

A vote for Bernie on June 7 will send a message to that as yet nameless candidate of the future that there are voters who support her ideas: we are out here and we will vote if given something to believe in.

The pictures of homemade Bernie signs were all taken in Pasadena except the Post No Bills graffiti which was near USC.  The two girls with signs were near a voter registration table.  I asked a nearby supervising adult for permission to take their picture, but I still felt as though I should obscure their faces.

Here is an 2008 Mixed Meters post showing homemade Obama for President signs.